All too often, men and women are unable to keep others interested and invested in conversations. Thousands of people constantly want to know the answers to questions like “what are some great funny/appealing questions” or “what do I talk to a girl/guy when we hang out”. However, these searches indicate that everyone who wants to know these types of answers are missing the point in conversations.
While they’re busy looking for a killer topic or the silver conversational bullet that will make others like them, they aren’t realizing that even if they do ask some good questions, these will quickly run out.
Here’s the secret: it doesn’t matter WHAT you talk about as much as HOW you talk about it.
Today I’m going to share one simple conversational technique that will rapidly improve your conversational abilities and how interesting people will immediately find you.
That technique is to share details.
Men and women with lower conversational abilities tend to gloss over without mentioning details and they quickly change the subjects they’re talking about. They are unable to take people on an interesting or emotional journey with them, because of the lack of detail. If you can’t picture something somebody’s telling you, you’re not going to get invested in it.
Always remember it’s consequently better to spend 2, 3, 4, or 5 minutes talking about one experience you’ve had, then to spend that time trying to mention three or four cool things you’ve done.
Let me show everyone an example so you can see who is sharing details and who’s not sharing details!
Emily: Did you have a good weekend?
Guy 1 (Dani): Yeah it was pretty nice, how was yours?
Guy 2 (Yan): It was pretty fun, went to hang out with some friends, had dinner on Friday night with some people from college that I hadn’t caught up with in ages and then played soccer on Saturday. What about your weekend?
Guy 3 (Michael): It was amazing , caught up with some old friends for dinner on Friday night. But now I have to tell you that we went to a fancy restaurant called “Bellini’s” where I had the most delicious pasta I’ve had in ages. It was this really light spaghetti combined with a rich herb and mince sauce with just a mild kick of spice that rounded it off perfectly. Delicious.My mouth felt like it was in paradise.I could just taste every little nuance on that dish. How about you did you eat anything particularly delicious on the weekend that made you feel like you were in paradise?
Guy 1 (Dani) is boring, ordinary and clearly has nothing cool to talk about. Avoid this completely!
Guy 2 (Yan) is your standard male. She will have forgotten about what he said by the time he’s finished his conversation. The question at the end is standard, typical and boring! Avoid this completely!
Guy 3 (Michael) will make her think about what he’s saying. She’ll also have to go back and think harder about what she ate on the weekend as it’s a more unusual question than what she’d be used to. The little details he shares show that he is aware of his surroundings and appreciates the good things in life. The conversation will also leave her with a good vibe.
Share details in every conversation you have and they will always be engaging conversations no matter how short or long the interaction is. Practice this technique and people will want to have conversations with you.